Friday, February 25

heartbroken

I had taken this picture to show my mom how well she is is/was still eating. Just look at that belly.

Last night we took Nina' to the Emergency Animal Hospital because she was having difficulty breathing. She couldn't sleep. She was in serious discomfort. So when we arrived there, they immediately took her from me in the waiting room to put her in an oxygen chamber. A good hour had gone by before we actually saw the doctor and he said, the situation was very grim. He examined her and he could hear a lot of fluid in her lungs but that the oxygen was helping. He wanted to do xrays and start her on an IV of Lasix to remove some of the fluid and his best guess was a secondary infection of Pnuemonia on top of the Congestive Heart disease but wouldn't know until he took xrays. I said, yes. Do what you can and then realizing how long an IV takes, I said, wait... your keeping her over night? And he said, yes she needs to stay on the oxygen. And of course I bursted out crying because I know how she gets when I am not with her. Especially since shes been sick. She gets frantic and whimpers. I wanted to say goodbye but I knew it would only upset her if she saw me and then couldn't go with me. So we left with the instructions that they would call if she took a turn for the worse otherwise come pick her up between 7-7:30am and most likely she will be given a prescription for antibiotics but he also said, she might not make it.
Well I left very upset but seriously thought she would come home the next morning with a prescription. So I went to sleep thinking about Ted picking her up and bringing her home and laying her in bed with me while I covered her with kisses. And then the phone rang at 6:15am with the words, I'm sorry Nina' went into Cardiac Arrest and we couldn't revive her.
I was/am so upset because I never said goodbye. And her last night was spent in a strange place with people she did not know.
Instead of taking her to bed and covering her with kisses, at 7:30am I was taking the blanket off of her that she was wrapped in and closing her eyes and putting her favorite pink party dress on and pearls and getting her favorite toy that came all the way from Texas with her all those years ago when my dad moved up here.
Her little body was still warm. I asked Ted to make her a casket, I didn't want to put her in a box. So he did, but before I wrapped her up and put her inside, I cut some fur off of her tail to save. She is now buried.
I am heartbroken.

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